Saturday, August 24, 2013

22nd Anniversary-- What My Wife means to me

As of today I have been married 22 years.

I had to make the title big so my wife would notice the post.

The first part of the post is a brief synopsis of the last twenty two years.  I give an over view of each of the major segments so far in our marriage for those of you who don't know me in real life.  Since this is highly personal I have left out a lot of things, gotta keep some things private.  Basically the first part of this post is a State of the Marriage.  The marriage is strong.  

If my wife actually reads this she needs to read all the way to the bottom because that section is for her.


Early Years

Over twenty-two years ago I made the best decision I have ever made.   I asked the greatest woman in the world to be my bride.  I am not sure why, maybe a temporary bout of insanity, but she agreed to be my bride and twenty-two years ago today sealed the deal by showing up at the wedding and vowing to stick by my side no matter what.

We got married at the tender age of nineteen and thought we knew everything.  I  know seems out of character for nineteen year old's right.  Just like most people if we had known what lay ahead we might have backed out.  I am glad we didn't know we would have missed the ride.

Starting out we were both working full-time and going to college.   While those two things were hard enough I think they paled in comparison to trying to keep our marriage going.   Just like most couples our first year was blissful, and like many our second, third and ... were difficult.   Luckily we had undergone about six months of premarital counseling prior to our wedding day (the wife's idea).   Turned out to be one of the smartest decisions we ever made.   

Our premarital counselor told us early in the process that he was going to try to convince us not to marry;  apparently the thought process behind that move is that if premarital counseling had convinced us not to get married then we obviously were not ready to get married.    

Middle Years

We were married for ten years before we decided to have kids, subconsciously I think this was to prove that the wife was not pregnant when we got married.   Since the first few years were behind us and we didn't have kids the only way I can describe these years are as stupid and selfish.   Not necessarily selfish with each other but we were only concerned, but we were very short-sighted.

Don't get me wrong we had a great time and had tons of freedom but the years are fuzzy because they had no meaning outside of our careers and trying to have a good time.

The Kid Years -- 10 years in to the present

Like many dad's, I was never more scared in my life than when I heard the words "We need to talk, I'm Pregnant." 

Like most people our marriage went through a transformation and life was more about the kid than it was just each other.   Luckily we got some really good advice from several people including our pediatrician that we had to take time for our marriage. 

The early days of the kid were hard but fun.  Watching the boy grow up and the wife turn into a wonderful mom have been the most rewarding experiences in my life.  I don't have a crystal ball so I don't know how the teenage years will turn out but I have hope that we have laid the groundwork to prepare our family and the boy to weather the coming storm.  

Letter to my wife 

Dear sweetheart, even if the words above don't do it justice I need you to know I love you with my heart and soul.  You have been a wonderful companion on this journey.   The journey is not over and I am sure we will have more joys and struggles to come.  I want you to know I will always be by your side working with you through anything that comes our way. 

You are a strong and beautiful woman we have grown up together and you are my best friend.   I know I am not worthy of your companionship.   I have never understood how you have put up with me for this long I just hope your insanity lasts a bit longer and you will continue to put up with me well into our golden years.  

One last thing in case it's not clear. 

I love you sweetheart and thank you.